Candace Bushnell felt the impact of being childfree & ‘truly being alone’ in her 50s

Cuba Gooding Jr. hosts the opening of Marbles Downtown NYC

Candace Bushnell has a new book coming out, Is There Still Sex in the City? It’s about a group of women in their 50s and 60s who move from New York to the Hamptons and just start living their lives out there. As such, Candace is spending a lot of time during her book promotion talking about all of the sh-t she’s learned about men, dating and living a childfree life. Candace is 60 years old right now and she’s always been childfree. She talks about what that means at her age versus when she didn’t even think about having kids in her 30s. Some quotes (from a couple of outlets):

On cosmetic work: “When you’re in your 50s, it’s expected that you’re going to be spending tens of thousands of dollars on these little lasers or filler. It’s the price of maintaining that feminine image.”

On how her husband of a decade, Charles Askegard, left her for someone else:“The reality is, if two people meet and they are in love and you happen to be in a relationship with one of them, there is not a hell of a lot you can do honestly except wish them the best.”

In 2016, she and several female friends moved full time to Sag Harbor: “We’re all single women without children. And you think about, what are you going to do when you get old? If you don’t have kids, you realize, ‘Who is going to take care of me?’ Your girlfriends. It was a weird, great communal living where your best friends who are like your family are right across the street and you can run and see them any time and you’re there for each other. We live within walking or biking distance [of each other]. We get together usually for Sunday brunch. And sometimes we have a paddle-boarding lunch.”

On being childfree: “When I was in my thirties and forties, I didn’t think about it. Then when I got divorced and I was in my fifties, I started to see the impact of not having children and of truly being alone. I do see that people with children have an anchor in a way that people who have no kids don’t.”

[From The NY Post & the Daily Mail]

I’ve been thinking about this stuff a lot lately because of what I’ve been going through with my mom (she’s been hospitalized for the past three weeks but she’s doing a lot better). Like, I enjoy my freedom and my quiet, no drama life and I honestly never wanted to be a mother. I always think that the question of “who will take care of me when I’m old” is a terrible argument for having children. But I do think about it. I don’t have any answers here or any argument to make, because I don’t think there’s a right answer. In some ways, I admire Candace for almost admitting that she slightly regrets not having that “anchor.” But it still sounds like she’s got it figured out? I don’t know.


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